hiyaa

A Quiet Day

2010-02-14T11:13:00.000-08:00

Jealous

2010-01-31T14:52:00.009-08:00

In the last 2 weeks I've heard other people get upset that so-and-so and what's-her-name are being touted as panel experts. So-and-so is of course an obvious no-talent Twittering hack and the only thing what's-her-name knows is making lovely PowerPoint slides.

NEWS FLASH - most of us ARE both a so-and-so and a what's-her-name. In my everyday life I am mostly shit at the things I do with the exception of about 3 cool things per week. I am genuinely happy to see other people succeed because it has no bearing whatsoever on my 3 cool things. In the vast universe, we are all nobodies and in a Descartes universe we are all no bodies. Try hard at stuff you like.

As an Anime Fan...

2009-10-05T23:32:00.003-07:00

When I see these guys lip sync, all I can think of is Slamu Dunku. There's something about them that reminds me of Vancouver.

Washington DC is Man Time

2009-09-05T16:16:00.002-07:00

AutoTune for iPhone

2009-09-04T10:21:00.002-07:00

TPain has a Smule iPhone app. Now everyone can autotune the news. Fantastic.

Kevin Smith is Hard Up...

2009-08-18T20:37:00.002-07:00

So if a funny guy like Kevin Smith can't get any action, what about the rest of us ? I mean, Jersey Girl was clearly Ben Affleck's fault. It must be hard playing anything other than Matt Damon's BFF.

The Bike Ride

2009-08-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

Babies

2009-07-25T09:28:00.002-07:00

We just announced our engagement and people have already started asking us when we're having babies. We haven't even gotten the ring sized to fit my hand. We haven't even got any clean underwear or groceries. For those people that keep asking us about babies, clearly you don't know us well and you've been bumped off the invitation list. No one has asked us about our doubles synchronized swimming routine, or when we plan to make a run at the Nobel Prize in physics, or how to smuggle oompa loompas AND ewoks into a non-denominational destination wedding. No more talk about babies.

Spain / Engagement Montage

2009-07-12T18:46:00.002-07:00

Barcelona

2009-06-29T06:22:00.004-07:00

We're in Spain and I'm trying to keep my media consumption to a minimum. A few days ago I was baffled when my friend Eugene told me we'd killed Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. He asked that we try not to hurt Bob Dylan.

I keep going to restaurants thinking I'm ordering something exotic and awesome from the menu, but it always turns out to be bizarre - like eggs and shrimp on french fries or a kilo of cured ham with nothing else. Still, I love it here. We just got back from Barcelona. Fashion is amazing (even the hammer pants.) Art is amazing. Architecture is absolutely unreal. People just stop half way through their day and have a drink and a 2 hour lunch. Nobody is tweeting or foursquaring anything and while I'm getting a bit of iPhone withdrawal, I really needed this.

If you're planning a trip to Barcelona, Robert's cool and he's got a great gallery called Base Elements in the Barrio Gotico where he hosts prominent graffiti artists.

Karyn's Circus Show

2009-06-20T13:00:00.002-07:00

This is a clip of Karyn's circus show at the San Francisco Circus Center from last night. Now we think she's even more buff and amazing. Her muscles have muscles.

Rolf's Moving to NYC: See him off this Sun

2009-06-18T13:44:00.001-07:00

GOODBYE ROLF: Rolf is leaving the sausage-fest of San Francisco in the hopes that he'll meet a nice sturdy lady from the East Coast that he can settle down and make big strong Nordic babies with. He's sold his furniture, packed his stuff and is ready to start his new life as a dad. Come see him off.
WHERE: Zeitgeist, http://tinyurl.com/mrgmvk
WHEN: THIS Sunday, Jun 21 3PM-7PM

Pickup Pundit

2009-06-01T19:06:00.002-07:00

I just uploaded a pick up line to Pick Up Pundit. It's "If my heart had a tag cloud, you'd be huge." Wish me luck.

Birth of a Bean

2009-05-03T09:17:00.001-07:00

Birth of a Bean, May 1. 2009 from Dana Oshiro on Vimeo.

Rental Car Rally

2009-04-28T14:13:00.004-07:00

My friend Yutai forwarded me an invite to Rental Car Rally, a road trip rally from San Francisco to Yuma, AZ beginning on June 12th and ending on June 14th. A hundred teams will visit photography checkpoints along the 36-hour drive to Yuma in an effort to win rally car bragging rights. While I'm toying with the idea, I recognize the disadvantage of owning a black car with no air conditioning. I'm Canadian. I didn't think it would really matter.

Anyways, if you're interested, Yutai's parties are always fun. He hosted a Miracle Berry party last August and he also started StreetWars - a game where strangers are given dossiers of water gun targets.

If you're interested in joining Rental Car Rally, the team cost is $250 and you can sign up via Eventbrite. Below is some footage of the original NYC to Montreal trip. Comment below if you're into forming a posse.

2008 NYC To Montreal Rental Car Road Rally from Richard Blakeley on Vimeo.

Tone Def Jam? Beyonce and the Internet

2009-04-22T16:52:00.006-07:00

Bwahahaha! Rolf just sent me this and it's really well done. Take the video, drag the file into iMovie, remove the sound and voice over the last two notes of each line and you've just sullied the reputation of the hottest woman in music today. At what point does Def Jam and Jay-Z put a hit on the internet? My theory is that Etta James and Aretha Franklin made the video.

Through the Gates!

2009-04-14T10:24:00.002-07:00

TN Visa achieved! The manly half of Croshiro is through airport security!

A Day at Prospect Lake

2009-04-13T23:30:00.001-07:00

Publish Post

Prospect Lake, Apr. 12. 2009 from Dana Oshiro on Vimeo.

A Hometown Montage

2009-04-08T19:33:00.002-07:00

Oh Richmond, my Richmond. I cannot believe you are hosting the 2010 skating oval. It seems like only yesterday I cried in my Floppy Disk costume while being thrust onto the ice through a fake Amiga.

The New Chain Letter: Your Album Art

2009-03-15T08:50:00.004-07:00

THE RULES:
1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit "random... Read More". The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to "Random quotations".
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3 - Go to flickr and click on "explore the last seven days". Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together. Then tag your Facebook friends to play.

COMMENTARY
I got this a while back and thought it was fun until my search yielded a totally lame album cover. Apparently, in my world, there is no music, only business negotiation audiobooks. (Or possibly smoking cessation) That being said, there's a couple reasons why this is viral:
-It's self-referential without being too vulnerable
-There are some funny results
-It encourages counter posts and dialogue. Try it.
Now I've just got to figure out a way to harness this for causes.

Oh Canada: Camera Embedded in Eye & Pomegranate

2009-03-05T22:23:00.004-08:00

Pomegranate: I have no idea how I never saw this until now, but the Pomegranate is a parody phone ad with the tag line, "Having a phone with everything may be a stretch, but a place that has everything definitely exists - Nova Scotia."

There are 3 totally funny things here:
1. Nova Scotia: When Americans make fun of Canadians for saying "aboot", they are making fun of the Maritimers. Nova Scotians are some of the sweetest, seal flipper pie munching, freckled redheads I know.
2. Harmonica and projector: These features may sound ridiculous, but Smule's Ocarina iPhone app totally lets you play your phone and Samsung just launched a phone with a pico projector in Korea. It demoed at CES.
3. A Canadian filmmaker is making a film on surveillance using a camera fitted into his prosthetic eye. It's an "eyeborg" camera and University of Toronto's Steve Man (One of the first life streamers) is onboard. I'm not kidding. After looking at this, the idea of a phone that brews coffee really isn't that far fetched. Now if this is fake, everyone's just going to start accusing us of being liars. It's bad enough being referred to as a "snow back". Check out the eye project below:

EYEBORG-- The Two Week Trial from eyeborg on Vimeo.

Elevens & Twelves

2009-02-21T17:26:00.003-08:00

Yesterday I listened to The Twelves and remembered dating a guy in university who lived in a household of roommates self-named, "the Elevens". Essentially, they were convinced that if rated on a scale of ten, they would all be elevens. I have no idea how a relentless feminist like myself could've tolerated such a douche bag. He must've been smoking hot. I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in 10yrs and he reminded me of all the wrong people I've attempted to date. Nobody was evil, but nobody was right either.

God I'm happy that's over.

I've been accused of being a buffoon all my life, but my strict regime of constant humiliation has led me to lessons learned and the man I love. Dumbassery pays off. I may not be elegant, but as far as luck is concerned, I'm definitely an eleven. Oh look, it's Saturday. Hell yeah.

Comte

2009-02-16T18:45:00.001-08:00

I am the only person I know who is willing to sacrifice a long weekend for cheese. I'm building a website for a very small fee for Essex Street Cheese Co. out of NYC simply to get some of their Comte. There are only 60,000 wheels of Comte aging in the caves at Marcel Petite Fort St. Antoine - a cave fort built during the 1800's in the Jura Mountains near the French-Swiss border. Essex's wheels are hand selected and are aged between 13-18 weeks. The Comte is made from the milk of Montbeliard cows and it's been prepared in the same manner for over 1000 years. This is the holy grail of cheeses. It's described as having the texture of silk. I'm going to have a party when I get my piece. I'm obsessed.

No Contest: Coding the Language of Love

2009-01-29T14:15:00.005-08:00

This morning a friend forwarded an email containing a contest to choose SF's sexiest programmer. She attached a concerned note that read, " Keep an eye on your man." I stared quizzically at a photo of today's man-boy coder in his ironic mutton chops and safety goggles.

I've got nothing to worry about, and this is why.

The final phrase in the article reads, "Ladies start your hard drives." I thought to myself, "Is this a hard love reboot? Are they installing a new boyfriend program? Do their libidos need a security update?" This got me thinking about why so many programmer to non-coder couples fail. My belief is that a large number of relationships end with semantic differences.

Let's break down the problem:

If: People who are angry or emotionally charged exaggerate;
And If: Coders tend to focus on minutiae because it is often small bugs that threaten their work;
Then: Hyperboles are corrected, the argument is rendered false and all parties agree to dissolve the apartment.
Else: One way to make a coder concede on the spot is to brain scramble him/her with obscure, yet classical, reference points. But after a quick trip to Wikipedia, the argument resumes.

Whitehouse Dot Gov

2009-01-21T14:03:00.000-08:00

Words as Weapons...

2009-01-15T21:29:00.003-08:00

On Tuesday we met a guy who used the word, "lumpen proletariat" in a veiled attempt to dominate conversation and exclude outside input. Then today Rolf told me that the type of sweater worn by the Cosby Show's Theo Huxtable is the "Coogi." I'm not entirely sure, but I suspect that neither the actor who played Theo, nor a real proletariat, would ever use either of these words.

CES, Vegas and Diana Ross

2009-01-11T11:01:00.002-08:00

I was in Vegas to help pitch Last Gadget Standing. Everything went well, and there were even some non-tech celebrities at the events including Dr. Dre, Stevie Wonder, Souljah Boy, the Counting Crows and Diana Ross. My colleagues made me angry when they besmirched the name of Diana Ross and wanted to see Counting Crows instead.

The Top 5 Reasons Diana Ross is better than the Counting Crows and everyone else in the entire world:
5. The Supremes: Ross was the signature female vocalists to build up Motown Records and establish Detroit as a musical mecca. She lead the first all-Black female singing group.
4. Lady Sings the Blues: Ross played Billy Holiday in Lady Sings the Blues and was nominated for a Best Actress Oscar at the Academy Awards. Her rendition of Strange Fruit kills me every time.
3. She Invented Disco: I'm Coming Out, Do You Know Where You're Going To and Upside Down. Not only is Ross a disco force to be reckoned with, but she's also the inspiration behind every 80's UK dance mix and gay anthem.
2. Imitation: Diana Ross is the original Dream Girl. If it weren't for Ross, Jennifer Hudson would not have an Oscar, celebrity drag queens would only feature Cher and Gloria Estefan, and Michael Jackson would have no real direction for his plastic surgery.
1. The 60's: Where Did Our Love Go, Baby Love, Stop! In the Name of Love, I Hear a Symphony, You Can't Hurry Love, Someday We'll be Together, You Keep Me Hanging On and my wildly inappropriate childhood favorite, Love Child. OH SNAPS!

Separation of Tech and Mom

2009-01-06T15:27:00.007-08:00

If you're here from my Mashable article you probably want to be at my tech blog, Villagers with Pitchforks. Please feel free to start a flame war there, I relish the attention.

I started this blog 3 years ago when I moved to a strange city and didn't want to call my mom every night. You can start a flame war here if you want, but my Mom's an ESL teacher and can verbally karate chop you to shit. Her most potent Pokemon is shame.

For this reason, I will never be as handsome and successful as Pete Cashmore. Le sigh.

Hawaiian Village

2008-12-28T11:31:00.011-08:00

Dang it. I wrote this days ago but my CMS screwed me.

Anyways, here it is:
We're on Kauai and yesterday it rained like crazy so we went to the Walua River Hawaiian Village to check out the various structures. The Hawaiians have a house for pretty much everything. Today we're going to kayak the river to the waterfalls and Fern Grotto. It's interesting how much lower the prices are for me if I break out the kama'aina pigeon.

As well, for the 2 of you interested in either ukulele or skateboarding, I just found out that A'ala Park, known as a bastion for the homeless in the song Manuela Boy, is also the place that Christian Hosoi used to practice.

Well, off to live. If it weren't for the awful wireless connection, and the fact that my family is borderline insane, I probably wouldn't set foot back on the mainland.

Lessig, Culture & Intrepid Theatre

2008-12-19T11:47:00.006-08:00

We went to Lawrence Lessig's book launch party months ago, but I'm only now cracking the book to read it. For once, I'm really enjoying my morning commute.

In Remix, Lessig calls on his readers to consider the amateur. He writes, "If you want to respect YoYo Mah, try playing a cello." He talks about how important it is to create culture rather than simply consuming it.

This leads me to my preachy point. Intrepid Theatre, host of the Victoria Fringe Festival and original home of One Man Star Wars, is looking for a new board member. (I used to be one) If you've got abilities as a promoter, social media marketer, event planner, designer or just plain networker, get involved. Email them. There's only 1 meeting a month, you meet cool people, and you keep early-stage Canadian comedy and entertainment alive. You can also try your hand at writing your own play through their Petri Dish competition.

Angelina Jolie cannot be the only person making culture, for God's sake, it's not like she can adopt all of us.

Wineries & Work

2008-12-12T08:21:00.002-08:00

Wow. Yesterday we didn't do any work at all. Instead, a limo was waiting to take us all to Napa for wine tasting and a seven course meal. I almost fell asleep between the fifth and sixth course. We went to Castella de Amoroso and my love was nowhere to be seen.

The Nanny & Niceties

2008-12-10T22:25:00.004-08:00

This morning someone Twittered about the shallowness of SF tech and I laughed. It's not because 140 characters produce a shallow expletive. Ezra Pound and William Carlos Williams were masters of the succinct and profound. No no, I found it funny to think that cocktail parties are substanceless. Pun intended.

I think we've officially transitioned into depression territory. Now more than ever, it's important that we remain civil and pleasant. Think of America as the Titanic, and a job in this economy is sort of like being in a tiny teetering lifeboat. The person who insults everyone is sort of like Fran Drescher. While she may be good enough for a U.S. Senate seat, you sure as shit don't want to share your lifeboat and dying moments with the Nanny's nasal voice ringing in your ears. Be nice, it's almost Christmas.

Drunk Santa, Shiba Inu & The Spirit of Christmas...

2008-12-09T21:22:00.004-08:00

I stayed home from work sick on Monday and caught up on Top Chef after a particularly fun and chilly weekend in Sonoma. Today I returned to work to hear a terrible rumor that the Shiba Inu Puppies have all been adopted and that their channel is going away soon. These dogs get me through tough times. This is almost the saddest thing ever, but not as sad as Drunk Santa live stream. This man is half cut and exactly the reason kids are afraid to have their photos taken in the mall. That being said, while I don't like drunk Santa, "Scared of Santa" remains a hilarious look at sticky-handed bandits getting what they deserve.

Songbird Launch: Fly 1.0! Fly!

2008-12-02T08:04:00.006-08:00

The 1.0 release of Mozilla-based open source media player Songbird has finally arrived, and trust me, as someone whose true love has worked on this from the beginning, no one has wanted this more than me. I'm too close to know what people are going to say about this, but in 2005 they were calling this an open source iTunes killer - difficult shoes to fill with a primarily volunteer workforce and a player that still can't rip CDs or sync to your iPhone. So let me tell you what it does have - WinAmp-esque skins (feathers), concert touring info, a LastFM extension, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY - heart.

WHY SWITCH FROM ITUNES TO SONGBIRD?

Logical Argument: Honestly, most of us just want to play the music we love whenever we want. Multi-device compatibility and cross format file support is really only important when you've got a party full of people and a device full of unplayable files. Listening should be seamless, and it isn't with iTunes or Songbird. The Songbird guys are the first to admit it. The difference is that iTunes and even the iPhone are purposely built to be incompatible with everything unApple. Meanwhile, Songbird's 35 employees and 4,500 volunteer community members are trying to fix this. Hell, if it really grinds your gears, you can fix it.

Emotional / Ad Hominem Abusive: You like us right? You want us to stay in America right? Well it's pretty hard to stay in the freaking country when the smart one doesn't have a visa. Get Songbird.

Hippie Please: Corn Bread & 2 Sausage Stuffing

2008-11-25T21:43:00.002-08:00

My American't friends suck at stuffing. Why not just eat Chinese food for Thanksgiving then? I'm so disgusted by this poor stuffing effort that I'm going to Canada to hang out with my friends at BootUp Labs. Nobody in America has ever held a lunch with my face on it. Ok fine, here's the recipe. I've never actually had specific amounts for any of these ingredients. I just mix stuff, get a little drunk, and let my BFF plate the finished product. Stuffing tastes like love.

CORN BREAD & 2 SAUSAGE STUFFING
Ingredients
1 loaf corn chopped
1/2 lb sweet Italian sausage chopped
1/2 lb Portuguese sausage chopped
1 tablespoon butter
3/4 cup chopped onion
3 stalks celery, chopped
1 teaspoon fresh thyme
1 teaspoon fresh rosemary
2 teaspoons ground sage
2 cloves fresh chopped garlic
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 cup vegetable broth

Directions
1. BROWN SAUSAGE: Brown sausage and drain.
2. MELT BUTTER: Melt butter and brown onion and garlic.
3. MIX: Add the remaining ingredients - add the vegetable broth last, slowly stir into rest of mixture.
4. ALMOST THERE: Turn off heat and cover stuffing for 10 min. Fluff and serve.

Rest, Projects and Missed Birthdays

2008-11-23T20:51:00.006-08:00

This weekend was a bust as I was so tired after hosting a Lunch 2.0 that I passed out in the middle of my living room floor by 10pm on both Fri and Sat nights . I missed two birthday parties.

Still, it was good to rest and go over a few ideas. I updated my website, stopped writing for Meme.ca in order to work on some of my own domains (coming soon) & I've been playing with the QL bar code generator tool that Rolf sent me. I also noticed that my idea for SF Drinktrain already exists. This makes it much easier to plan something in the near future. My usually better half slept for most of the weekend including during the days; however, he managed to find his doppelganger. Isn't the dude on the left in the photo a dead ringer?

Home: Tree Forts, B&Bs and Blissful Retreat

2008-11-20T20:12:00.006-08:00

I miss home. I'm counting down the days until I get back to Vancouver. I've forgotten about the rain and the fact that I can't get along with my mom for more than 3 days. All I can remember are the nice things like friends, trees and sushi. We've got 3 friends who've gone off the grid and I'm honestly a little jealous. They are:
- Dave with a Bed & Breakfast;
- Keith with an island meditation retreat; and,
- Now Joel with a tree house.

I'm thinking it might be a good idea to branch out in my projects and make something bigger than an apron or a website.

Stress

2008-11-17T22:55:00.001-08:00

GAHHHH!

Girls Girls Girls

2008-11-16T18:57:00.002-08:00

This was a fun-filled girl-strava-ganza weekend and that rarely happens anymore. I went to a rally with my non-sexual life partner Rebecca, I had a jammy party and watched Kim Cattrall in Mannequin, and then I had 3 mimosas at a girl brunch in Noe Valley. If this were Sex in the City, I think I might be Carrie's chubby gay friend, Stanford. And like Stanford, I actually want to be Kim Cattrall.

My President is Black!

2008-11-08T13:08:00.005-08:00

This week was crazy! Barack Obama was voted the first racialized president in the United States. I wrote about my feelings here.

Proposition 8 passed, and San Franciscans lamented in seeing a piece of regressive garbage get codified into the California state constitution...And the Web 2.0 Conference was this week.

While equal marriage rights and Lessig, O'Reilly and Lionel Ritchie are great, I couldn't stop thinking about the US presidential election.

After my grandparents were interned during WW2, they were afraid of having their home, fishing boat and bank accounts seized again. Sixty years after the war, and a week after my grandma's funeral, we found thousands in cash hidden in their home. Watching a person of color elected the President of the United States is like watching a dream. This is an amazing moment in history.

Halloween

2008-11-02T22:52:00.002-08:00

Halloween is always a time of anxiety for me. SF is so full of costume parties that I tend to put too much pressure on myself to make something clever and then I choke. This is also why I can't make it to Burning Man. I have a sewing machine and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm just looking to produce something spectacular.

I saw an ecard that read, "I spend more time worrying about my costume, than I do about my career." This is true. I know I'm doing the best I can at my job...but lately, my costumes have been piss poor.

My friend Eugene did a great job as a giant penguin. He thinks he can also get multiple uses for it at hockey games, mall nativity scenes, swimming pool openings, ice carnivals, impromptu fire hydrant openings and global warming demonstration days. I think because he's Russian he should take a trip to Wasilla and tell people he's on a secret trade mission.

Itsumo - Progress through Pictures

2008-10-29T23:45:00.002-07:00

Today has been a thoroughly productive day:

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS: After my stern letter, my landlord finally came over with a ladder so I could mend my curtains. I sewed them up lickety split. EGAD, IT'S LARRY LESSIG: I got to hear CopyLeft giant Lawrence Lessig read from his new book, Remix: Making Art and Commerce Thrive in the Hybrid Economy.
KNIGHT NEWS CHALLENGE: I finally finished my entry for the Knight News Challenge. My project is a daily photo widget slideshow of construction-related projects. It is meant to save NGO's time and money by allowing orgs to compliment traditional grant and donor reporting with imagery. As well, the widget can be embedded on grant and donor sites as an indicator of sound investments. Essentially, I'm trying to help NGOs increase their direct services and decrease administrative grant reporting and online promotion requirements. Vote for my project or leave me a comment.

A Winter's Tale: Canadians & the Economic Climate

2008-10-22T22:16:00.006-07:00

Yesterday evening, for the first time in meat life, I met Boris and Danny from Bootup Labs and James from AdHack. As I sat there surrounded by jovial Canadian entrepreneurs, I thought to myself, "Where was this group of hungry pioneers when I lived in Canada?" Then I realized they were there, but that I had not yet developed an interest in technology.

My laptop was once a typewriter. It's sort of similar to having telekinesis and only using it to change TV channels.

I'm proud of the fact that I came from a legitimate Joe six-pack (or rather Johnny eight-ball) town and have taken the time to learn something complex during my adulthood. Although the American economy is seriously hitting the fan, I feel damn lucky by what I've been given and shown in life. Things are going to be fine. We remember living cheaply. We just need to put our heads down and stop screwing around on the indoor climb walls.

Exit stage left...pursued by a bear [market]...

Fair Trade, Organizing & the WTO

2008-10-04T09:11:00.003-07:00

Alright, I feel dirty for mentioning Dance Floor Dale in my last post. As the campy deejay at my now defunct roller rink used to say, "Let's take a little moment now and slow it down for the sweethearts.

So yesterday I wrote emails to some politicians on behalf of my sister-in-law(ish) in order to pit them against each other and create a sense of competitiveness around a good cause. Basically the point is to get folks to agree to purchase Fair Trade for 30-days. It made me miss working at nonprofit organizations. I don't miss the low pay or having people treat me like an idiot whenever I suggest social media campaigns. But I saw a 10-year anniversary poster for the 1999 WTO rally and am reminded of how much I've changed. I believe most of the same things, but my approach has changed dramatically. I'm trying to catch flies with honey, and trust me, when you're full of as much piss and vinegar as I am, it's actually pretty difficult. My old self would call my new self an "armchair activist." My new self realizes that I have always had a roof, support network and the voice to change the attitudes and perceptions of my peers. There is no big bad evil. There's only stupidity, apathy and life-saving flashes of brilliance.

Dancefloor Dale & Baconman

2008-10-03T15:00:00.005-07:00

I was sent 2 videos today. One was perfectly fine, the other was incredibly offensive. Baconman is a random video about this big goofy dude in a bacon suit. It's just sort of bizarre. The other horrifying cinematic debut was created by Warp Records and is entitled "Dance Floor Dale", a half-animated video of a man and woman committing unspeakable sex acts . I've decided Dance Floor Dale is quite possibly one of the grossest videos I've seen in a while. Dance Floor Dale is the new Goatse. I refuse to link to it. My eyes are bleeding.

Mashable Monthly: I Is a Reporter

2008-09-30T18:18:00.010-07:00

Last night, for the first time in months, I looked at my Google Analytics and found that my most popular keywords are "insists upon itself" and "diarrhea bear". Thanks to all three of my loyal readers who continue to raise the intellectual bar. As a result of your influence and power, I've been accepted into the blogger lounge at Mashable's Monthly event to cover four demoing companies - Oosah, WeAre.US, Artiklz, and Strands.

OOSAH
Oosah allows for 1TB of storage and is a site for users to manage their media files; however, according to their backgrounder, Oosah "is emphatically not a file sharing site; it is a user-generated content hosting, management, and sharing site". What does that mean? Oosah is a media file storage service with easy mobile access.

WEARE.US
Weare.us is a site that aims to "empower patient communities to take control of their lives by providing social resources and an environment for sharing". As the former online strategist for the Breast Cancer Fund, I see this site as the darling site of the evening. I was fortunate enough to happen upon the founder's wife who told me that the idea for the site came about after she experienced health issues during her pregnancy and could not find the right online community in which to interact. The site fills a need for individuals to share real life experiences with real people. I think this might be the next generation of Ning - with communities pending approval of course. [My profile on Weare.Us >>]

ARTIKLIZ
Perhaps the most elusive service of the night due to their lack of public demo, Artikliz allows content providers to aggregate info on each of their individual blog articles. Good or bad, any comments or votes pertaining to your blog article (across platforms and services) will appear on the same page. In other words, Artikliz aims to increase transparency and give a one-stop psychographic 360. It's like Sylar from Heroes' ability to hear what everyone is saying.

STRANDS
According to the website, Strands "gives users the ability to record their activities and keep track of their friends across multiple social networks and services. Based on aggregated profile info, Strands enables discovery of new things based on your own behaviors as well as those of your friends and influencers." In other words, we are looking at a combination of Me.dium, Delicious and FriendFeed.

THE FRINGE: What Would Cory Doctorow Do? As a Canadian, I love obscure Cory Doctorow References. Naturally, Fake Cory Doctorow Twitter Feed speaks to me. Some of my favorite lines include, "Googled my name. Still less hits then Lessig. Damn" and "Putting together a papercraft scene from my young adult novel Little Brother". I am one of only 90 or so followers, but I know bizarre, geek hilarity when I see it. Fake Doctorow is the XKCD of Twitter. Whoa. That last sentence was too nerdy to handle. I'm going to need to turn up the hoser. Memo to self: Lucky Lager pyramid + woods + bb gun

Thanks But No Thanks on that Product Road Map to Nowhere

2008-09-29T19:03:00.004-07:00

I wrote a post on the train about how it was surreal to see Perez Hilton alongside Neal Stephenson in this month's Wired, but now I just want to leave you with a classic Garfield moment. In other words, sigh...Mondays...

We've all been here before. It reminds me why I could never be a full-time graphic designer. Developers and designers should take a page out of the Sarah Palin play book and say (in true Alaskan accent), "Thanks but no thanks on that product road map to nowhere."

The High Seas, 2 Cups and one girl & Ukuleles

2008-09-24T08:14:00.003-07:00

Two major great events have happened in the past week.

1. Firstly, only two days after Talk Like a Pirate Day we went sailing on the high seas of Santa Cruz with Cen, James and Swerdlow. My sweetheart played Captain Calico Jack Rackham while I played Anne Bonny. Judging by the amount of weight I've gained lately, I'll have no problem pleading my belly.

2. I made matching cups. This is not a clever innuendo. I actually sat down with 2 different clumps of mud, plopped them down on a spinning pottery wheel and sculpted 2 matching cups with my bare hands. This is a real accomplishment given that my hands resemble tiny brown hams. I now know how Michelangelo felt when he formed David from a single piece of marble. Firstly, comes the realization that you've created more byproduct than actual product. Secondly, despite what the world may want you to believe, you realize that you are in fact a useful human being with hidden talents.

There is a guy on the Caltrain playing the ukulele and he's great. Today is a great day.

Caltrain

2008-09-17T09:31:00.001-07:00

Yesterday they had to pull a person off the Caltrain tracks in the tunnel between the 22nd St. station and the Bayview station. As I sat there under the dimmed lights of the emergency sign, I realized I was more nervous about the gangster staring at me across the aisle than I was about the kid on the tracks. This morning the homeless man sharing my bench got pooped on by a pigeon. I thought it was better not to tell him since he was already swearing under his breath. The young thugged-out Latino on my other side didn't tell him either. At 8:02 the homeless man, the Latino guy, the train conductor and I shared a hearty laugh when a man wearing a blue tooth and carrying a recumbent bike, threw a fit after missing the 7:59 train.

Typography

2008-09-14T21:52:00.003-07:00

Typography has been hot for a while. The acclaimed film Helvetica paved the way, with Font Conference close behind. Today I noticed a really beautiful Smashing Magazine post on Table of Contents design. While you may turn up your nose at my obvious font fetish, would you seriously trust a bank whose logo incorporated Curlz MT? A friend recently told me she refused to interview a designer with a curriculum vitae written in comic sans. When in doubt, keep it clean. If you like something you see and don't recognize it, check out What the Font.

Crested Butte: Colorado Musings

2008-09-08T23:26:00.002-07:00

Last night we got back from a wedding in Crested Butte, Colorado and this morning I'm back on the Caltrain to work. I had forgotten all of the great things about being in a small town. The stars are bright, people smile at you on the street, and without all the noise, there's always time to think. This last one is important. I see how people from NYC, LA and SF judge small town folk and I don't think it is warranted. It's true that there are redneck towns, but there are also towns where you don't lock up your bike, where your steak is a 4H club champion and where you're welcome everywhere. Crested Butte is the latter. I'm glad I got to see it, and it's telling that Jane and Joe hold it so dear. Congratulations kids!

Nerds!!!!

2008-08-31T16:48:00.002-07:00

You know how in teen movies, the girl everyone calls a nerd is just a regular girl in glasses and a ponytail? Well today I went to the Richmond District bespectacled and ponytailed and after trying on a few outfits at a Chinese boutique, a great looking Russian lady (sans glasses) co-opted my clerk and left me cast aside like the $10 bin. I am convinced if I had shown up geek-to-chic as opposed to chic-to-geek, this would have never happened. I spent money to appear more attractive. It only made me seem desperate.

TechCrunch just covered a one page Net Neutrality debate article by Opposing Views . I like that they covered it. I don't like that they did it on Labor Day Weekend when only nerds like me are online. It's like they are preaching to the ugly choir.

Getting Published: Being an Influencer

2008-08-24T11:26:00.006-07:00

I just got home from Gnomedex and checked my personal email. I've been asked to contribute to an anthology of stories targeted at 11-14-year-olds. I don't even know if 11-14-year-olds want to read a story written by some wizened old crone rambling into obsolescence. I'm sure every rebellious thing I ever did would be tame for today's teen. Still, here are some myths I've refuted in an effort to cobble together some practical survival advice:

1. POPULARITY DOESN'T MATTER OUTSIDE OF HIGH SCHOOL: The easiest way to get a job is to be likable and to know someone already in the company. I work 10-12 hour days. I would rather hire someone pleasant and moderately intelligent, than someone who is brilliant and psychotic.
2. SEX IS FOR PROCREATION: You don't have to be embarrassed to want to get with someone. Just always wear a condom, try not to have too many partners, and more than anything - only get with partners who are discreet and respectful. You are a human being and your sex life shouldn't be your identity. If it becomes your identity, you're more likely to experience creepy situations.
3. IF YOU MAKE A PLAN AND STICK WITH IT, YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU WANT: Do you really think that 94% of the world living in poverty is composed of a bunch of loafers and poor planners? Find a purpose that makes you happy and surround yourself with solid people. It doesn't matter what you do, just feel strongly about something and prepare for some nice surprises.
4. DRUGS ARE DRUGS: Marijuana won't kill you. It will make you slow, giggly, sometimes paranoid, and worst of all, fat (as you are more prone to eating an entire bag of Frito Lays in one sitting). Meanwhile, cocaine, meth amphetamines, heroin, crack, GHB mixed with alcohol, MDMA cut with speed, and high concentrations of LSD might hurt you. There is no such thing as a trustworthy drug supply. Your friend's brother's LSD was made in a bathtub and there is no guarantee that the same batch will produce the same effect on different people. If you're going to experiment, read about chemicals on the internet from a credible source.
5. THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS: If you're like me, you have a sneaky suspicion that the hot people only invite you to do stuff in order to laugh at you. Congratulations on having this level of self awareness. Your other geek friends won't figure this out for years. Still, when the cool kids pick on you, they aren't doing it because they're jealous. They're doing it because they think you're a snotty asshole. If you think someone is an idiot, don't let them know it. Be nice, ask questions and try to learn something.

Allen Ginsberg, Geist & Talent

2008-08-17T09:22:00.005-07:00

Yesterday I realized that for a good part of my life I've been chasing ghosts. I found out that my friend lived in the same apartment as Allen Ginsberg. Then I realized that despite the fact that my friend is a regular fixture in our home, I know more about Allen Ginsberg. I'm tired of assuming that the remarkable people in the world are either dead or far away. I'm ashamed that I haven't talked more about the talented people that I know firsthand.

GEIST
My friends Koshi and Jess finally made it to their 40th day at Zeitgeist. Koshi blogs the dive bar experience here.

Koshi is a visual designer and photographer, while Jess is the technology editor at the Institute for the Future and an extremely savvy and honest writer. While they don't know it, once these two decide on an independent full-time project, whether together or separately, they are going to be unstoppable. Once they read this, Jess will say something mean in order to mask her embarrassment. I don't care. Someone needs to fund their graphic novel / asshole bumper sticker series / rock 'n roll podcast biking tour of SF / whatever. The ironic silkscreen poster series shtick has been co-opted by hacks. These two are legit and we're all fans.

Travels: From Humble Beginnings...

2008-08-14T21:26:00.005-07:00

Wow. Today is a day of travel planning. This morning I booked my ticket for Gnomedex in Seattle and then my honey bunny booked our Christmas vacation - in Kauai! Things are looking up.

Yesterday at a networking event, I actually spoke to a bunch of strangers without having to make awkward small talk. I am having a breakthrough.Everything is coming up Dana.

You can see how it might have been initially intimidating to be in a room full of well-known creatives and feel like you're wearing a big "kick me, I'm podunk Canadian" sign on my back. Nevertheless, the more I get to know people, the more I realize how podunk we all are (in a good way). The nicest man I know is literally from a rock in the middle of the ocean. Podunk is good. It seems to breed some pretty solid human beings.

Guns Guns Guns!

2008-08-07T14:20:00.004-07:00

Whoa. Two strange things happened today.
1. I went to the gym and exercised - ouch
2. I saw a news story about how a Maryland mayor's home was mistakenly raided by the S.W.A.T. team in a marijuana drug bust and that the mayor's two dogs were killed as a result. Mayor Cheye Calvo held a press conference calling for an investigation into the raid and emphasized how his dogs were members of the family. Then I realized that during the raid, the mayor thought he was being attacked by armed robbers. The police believed that the mayor's two black labs were a threat. Imagine if one of his family members had reached for a gun? We watched the beginning of the gun control episode from 30 Days. I wish people could settle their disputes in obstacle course relay races. I think Canada might still be pretty non-threatening.

Together At Last...

2008-08-06T17:32:00.002-07:00

This weekend was a whirlwind. Mr. Wonderful went to a bachelor party in Aptos and I went dancing with the girls. Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. On Monday we ate a West African berry and drank all sorts of foul things that tasted sweet and then turned sour in my stomach. I woke up in a cold sweat. It was not good.

Things I discovered this weekend on my own:
1. Fanboys of the Universe: First off, I had no idea that there was a GLBT community dedicated to comic book fandom including a gallery of same sex superhero duos smooching. The Batman and Robin is my favorite.

2. Doodle Defender Game: This game is addictive.

3. The Man is a Woman: Female cops are extra vigilant about cellphone use in the car, even when you're in park with the hazard lights on. Swearing when you've forgotten your wallet and are caught driving without a license is also frowned upon.

Dig a Tech Girl

2008-07-30T15:16:00.005-07:00

So my friend PVH alerted me to Dig a Tech Girl and Dig a Tech Guy - two "Hot or Not" sites for tech industry workers. It's no surprise that the tech women are for the most part marketers and vloggers; however, there only seem to be 1-2 pages of tech men and no sign of Mashable's leading man, or my personal crush, the amazing Linus Torvalds.

Linus my little Pingu, while you are not safe I am not safe, and now we're really in the total animal soup of time.

Don't forget to register for Linux World next week, the Exhibit Hall pass is free until the 3rd and the kick off conference keynote features the DARPA Grand Challenge robotic car.

UPDATE: In the spirit of "Hot or Not" I just found this Top 10 List of Female Stormtroopers. You know, with my physique I'm bound to get an honorable mention on an Ewok list.

Jury Duty

2008-07-22T14:18:00.000-07:00

Jesus. I'm at jury duty and the orientation video is bloody awful. While a woman in the video was raving about how much she enjoyed the thrill of the judicial system, two Latina women rolled their eyes and I started laughing. I've only been here for one hour but everything and everyone is beginning to look dowdy. I've counted 33 people guilty of fashion crimes against humanity and one guy on a cellphone guilty of acting like an arrogant loser. There's tension in the air as everyone sits quietly crafting a plan to get excused from their case.

Weird Science: Barbie, AutoCAD & Robert Downey Jr.

2008-07-21T13:22:00.003-07:00

I just re-watched Weird Science last night on Hulu and while I really enjoyed it, a number of questions arose.
1. How did the film manage to cast Robert Downey Jr AND "Hook" (of Hook and the Daggers) from Thrashin' as stock bro villains?
2. How in the world did an oafish ham like Steven Seagal manage to marry a dishy babe like Kelly Le Brock?
3. And lastly, how could two high school kids build an autonomous humanoid robot using AutoCAD, a barbie doll and some scanned Playboy photos? Did the Christmas miracle scene get cut?

I remember hearing the stories about how politicians used to cite War Games to illustrate the potential threat to US security, but honestly...Matthew Broderick probably can't even program his TIVo to record his wife's Sex in the City reruns. If computers, programmers and robots were half as powerful as they are in movies like War Games, Weird Science and Real Genius, the world would be a different place. Imagine the data transfer speed required to manufacture and transport Kelly LeBrock through a phone line in a single evening? Amazing. Thousands of sexy ladybots would be down at the Apple Store right now waiting in line for our new iPhones.

Tour de Fat: Bikers, Buffoonery & Beer

2008-07-20T18:05:00.005-07:00

Once again, our good friend Joe Newton convinced us to suit up for New Belgium Brewery's Tour de Fat. Once again, we found ourselves in ridiculous costumes wheezing uphill on 50lb cruiser bikes. Last year's Evel Kneival costumes were slightly more elaborate; nevertheless, this year's Hells Angels theme better captures our mutual respect for the Canadian tuxedo. (Head-to-toe denim)

To sum it up, Joe won the slow race, the Sprockets bike dancing group performed, and we all shared a cold day in Speedway Meadows.

More pics here.

Coffee & Aspirin Stat

2008-07-16T16:18:00.002-07:00

Yesterday's Mashable party was fun. I told Scott Beale I loved his photography, I met some really cool art and film-related tech folks, and I called someone a creep with a smile on my face. Dale Carnegie would've been proud. The morning was another story. My power cord stopped charging and I went to the Stonestown Galleria because I was afraid of downtown iPhone fanaticism. I got lost, there was a lineup, and my assigned Genius was a kid humming Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk while wearing Geordi La Forge glasses. I tried to plug in at the nearby Tully's and was told I couldn't, despite the free wifi. I just got home and it's freaking 4:00 pm. Sometimes I think reality and SF's population density is enabling my underachievement.

SF Social Media Camp

2008-07-15T17:07:00.002-07:00

Weird. I couldn't get a wifi connection at a social media camp. I played with the Photo Booth filters I'd neglected for months and then left.

Fire Arts Festival

2008-07-13T10:45:00.002-07:00

After returning from a day of camping and hiking, we set off to Oakland for dinner and the Crucible's Fire Arts Festival. Fire performers, a steam punk tree house, and the pinball museum display were all interesting aspects of our evening, here's an overview of some of the best in show:

EXXOTHERMIA: Beetle-like ice-seeds burrow into a solid ice structure while propane bursts shoot out of the top. Basically, you're looking at the hugest vodka luge ever.

FLAMETHROWER SHOOTING GALLERY: Two bubble makers produce regular intervals of hydrogen, oxygen and propane bubbles while the public has a chance to explode, pop or simply ignite them with red hot rods. I just checked out maker Matisse Enzer's group Art Police, and it turns out they've worked with the Grateful Dead, Ken Kesey and Wavy Gravy for Berkeley City Council.

PYROCARDIUM: We stood in the center of a ring of fire torches while holding a stethoscope fashioned with a microscope to our necks. The flames synchronizes to our heartbeats. Literally and figuratively big-hearted, friend Morgan Crowe lit up the sky while testing the pyrocardium. I'm a little surprised cartoon vultures didn't start circling overhead when it was my turn. I had to run on the spot to get a pulse.

6:21am: San Franciscans wake up to the iPhone

2008-07-11T06:46:00.003-07:00

It's 6:21am and I just finished a phone interview. I can't go back to sleep. I've had too much coffee and I have to pack for camping on Angel Island. I just checked Twitter and tons of people are awake and standing in line at the Apple store for the release of the new phone. I once walked across town because I didn't want to wait in line for a prescription. Maybe I'd be more patient if I was being filmed by Pete Cashmore, Mom Generation's vote for Hottest Male Blogger. But honestly, a Tim Horton's double double and a honey cruller would be more likely to appease me. I wish someone would vote for me as a "hot blogger". The problem is I'm always being photographed stuffing free cheese and honey crullers into my purse.

CanMeriDa

2008-07-05T11:04:00.003-07:00

Both Canada Day and American Independence Day reinstate an age-old tradition of drunkenness followed by the age-old tradition of a morning shot of aspirin with an orange juice chaser. In my days spent recovering, I've been trying to find a meme that sets Canadians and Americans apart. Handsome B. Boyfriend is spreading a rumor about a drop bear-like fictional animal for Canadians to share, but it isn't catching on. I've decided I'm more proud of the West Coast cities I identify with (both in Canada and the US) than I am of either nation as a whole. Imagine if cities were to take up arms and defend themselves. San Franciscans would be solely defended by CEOs on wake boards and BMW motorcycles. It would be the only city with more war correspondents than soldiers. Vancouverites would employ assassins in Lululemon ninja attire to pour vats of piping hot Starbucks onto unsuspecting rivals. And Victorians would sink the BC Ferries, fill their coolers with pies and cured meats, and kayak like hell up the Georgia Straight in the belief that dying in the ocean would be a vast improvement to surrendering to those smug Vancouverites. It would be over in a few days, at which point we'd realize that a "true patriot" is just someone who tries their best regardless of the situation. Ah CanMeriDa...

Going Quackers: Amphibious Marriages During Pride

2008-06-25T11:42:00.005-07:00

As a Canadian transplant in the Bay Area it never really occurred to me how huge San Francisco's Pride week was going to be after the California Supreme Court decision in May. Cyndi Lauper, Margaret Cho and Charo will all perform, and I just found a Facebook group inviting couples to get married aboard the Bay Quackers World War II Amphibious landing craft (aka. the Duck Tours) during the parade. I'm all for celebrating gay marriage, but how's a bride supposed to get noticed when her wedding vessel is flanked by a gaggle of bare assed stilt-wearing adonises?

Chicken of Pigeons

2008-06-17T14:54:00.003-07:00

Earlier today a pigeon flew into my internet cafe and bashed itself again the window while I screamed and covered my head. Everyone laughed at me. I'm an animal-lover, but having a molting Tenderloin pigeon graze my face is like sucking on an eyedropper full of the ebola virus. My latte had little bugs in it when I returned to the table. About an hour later, 2 homeless men got into a fight and left a trail of saliva against my window. They made amends and went away, but the saliva remains here at eye level. Chucky was a cursed doll, Christine was a cursed car and I have a cursed window seat. What are the odds?

AZN FREDDY: Craigslist Features Paranormal Investigation

2008-06-16T11:58:00.003-07:00

I just came across the strangest Craigslist post where a guy is offering paranormal investigation services. His user name is AZN Freddy. It immediately made me imagine an Asian Freddy Kreuger played by Jet Li slashing friendly ghosts played by Jackie Chan, Masi Oka and George Takei. Then I remembered Look Around You's, Ghosts video featuring the Gloriette 80 Materialiser. I love this series.

Posing & Living

2008-06-15T10:57:00.004-07:00

It's been seven days since I've posted. I'm trying to become more present in my life rather than cataloguing the world into my "bloggable" folder. The thought first struck me last week on Sunday at the Haight St. Festival when I realized that there were fewer spacey hippies than there were photographers. I believe Immanuel Kant said, "mankind is not a means to an end, but an end in and of itself." (Well, that's what I remember from Philosophy 200) Citizen journalism is cool and useful, but I certainly don't want to be a citizen paparazzi. I'm trying to approach people without looking for their agenda or angle.

In the meantime I've been paying a great deal of attention to food and have been given a cooking blog at the Daily Pixel Network.

Ukulele Sunday

2008-06-08T13:25:00.001-07:00

I'm learning the soprano ukulele and just found this video of William H. Macy playing the uke on Oprah. Is it possible that the ukulele is this year's ironic trucker hat?

Feeding the Senses

2008-06-05T15:26:00.001-07:00

A good friend is having a 30th birthday in the dark. Basically, the idea is that we sit around and eat without vision. Seriously...see. I'm told this is a very exclusive guest list. If I didn't know this guy better, I'd think we were a bunch of naive Canadians getting lured into one of those swinging Marin black lights and underwear parties.

Warcraft

2008-06-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

BoingBoing featured this Flash-parody of World of Warcraft entitled, "WTF". Then I received this gorgeous photo of my boyfriend casting a kill spell during Ying Fu's birthday party this weekend. Notice the intensity in his eyes. Shortly after this photo was taken, much like in Warcraft, he found himself walking into walls and retracing his steps to retrieve forgotten items.

Flight of the Conchords: Google I/O

2008-05-30T11:20:00.002-07:00

On Tuesday I went to Google's I/O party where I was pleased to watch Flight of the Conchords play. I even made friends with the security guard and got some covert video footage. We talked about how Google had paid a bundle to hire the band to play for only 2000 developers at Moscone West and how one guard's sole job is to stop amateur videographers from taking footage and posting it to YouTube. However, because Google owns YouTube, doesn't it stand to reason that the company would actually make money from uploads? Or for that matter, doesn't embedding it into my Blogger blog also make Google money through impressions? Then I thought about Flight of the Conchords. Would uploaded concert video prevent fans of the lovable Kiwis from buying concert tickets or tuning in? Actually, it would do the opposite and act as free promotional b-reel. All of these were moot points when I got home to find a series of 4 min over-exposed clips of two bobbing heads behind a hulking security guard. Hmm...you know why professional photographers get gorgeous shots? Because their tripods don't get tipsy on free beer and gush to the security guard. Angry dance>>

Spore: Inner Feelings from Outer Space

2008-05-21T08:16:00.005-07:00

I've been waiting for Electronic Arts' evolution game, Spore, ever since Will Wright made it seem educational and good at last year's TED conference. Since then, a friend has landed the PR on the launch, I've evangelized the crap out of it to friends with kids, and yesterday my honey bunny alerted me to Inner Feelings from Outer Space - bizarre Jack Handey-esque musings from Spore creatures. It got me thinking about the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and those cute little Brown twins.

Someone should let these people write voice overs for video game and cartoon characters.

Bay to Breakers

2008-05-18T23:40:00.004-07:00

Bay to Breakers is just one of those SF events that cannot be escaped. It runs the entire length of the city, the event lasts from dawn until dusk & traffic is backed up for miles. This year we suited up and joined in the festivities. This pic makes us look like we're hatching a villainous plot. Then I found this random generator.

*The rest of the photos are here.

Metropolis, Music & Moms

2008-05-11T22:23:00.002-07:00

Nokia is paying DJ Shadow to take a bunch of user-submitted samples and create songs from various cities. San Francisco has already been uploaded and from the sounds of it, my city consists of trolley bells, seagulls, the Sausalito Ferry, the Alcatraz foghorn and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs repeating the words, "Listen...these are the sounds."

I would've included the voice of the Tamale Lady, the clacking of computer keys and the cuss of a tourist caught off guard by the price of a Blue Bottle Coffee artisanal microroast.
------------------------
Happy Mother's Day to my Mom, Mr. Wonderful's Mom, and all the Mom's I know.

And Tango Makes Three

2008-05-08T15:04:00.002-07:00

I went for an interview at a cool tech/cause NGO this morning and then headed over to Songbird to freeload pizza and catch up on reading. According to HuffPo, the "gay" penguin book, "And Tango Makes Three" is the book most objected to in US public libraries. Based on a true story, the book tells the tale of Roy and Silo, two male Chinstrap penguins who hatched an egg in NY's Central Park Zoo. (Awww)

WHAT I DON'T GET...
I understand that homophobia is still an awful reality, but what I don't understand is how we know that the birds are gay. Were they practicing Bob Fosse numbers with their tiny jazz flippers? Are heterosexual males incapable of cooperating as parents?

Doesn't anyone else remember Three Men and a Baby? It won a People's Choice award and homosexuality was never even discussed. Do we just assume that if they were gay, Magnum P.I. and Sam Malone would've kicked Steve Guttenberg to the curb?

Maker Faire

2008-05-04T18:35:00.003-07:00

This is my second Maker Faire and it's still just as cool as the first time. Every time I see a bunch of giddy kids building their own bike, soldering their own circuit board or programming their own Chomby, I am impressed. If all learning were this fun, I honestly think the world would be a better place.

On the way home Mr. Wonderful fell asleep on BART and a couple of guys almost had a knife fight next to Morgan and I. There are good and bad reasons to raise a kid in the city.

Happy Birthday Marilyn and Andrey!

2008-05-02T15:43:00.001-07:00

The woman on the left is Marilyn. She is a chain smoker, a lady programmer and has two of the chubbiest cats in the history of the universe.

The man on the right is Andrey. He looks 15lbs heavier in photos, is a proud Russian, and once dated a psychopath but has since taken up gambling.

Who says lightning never strikes twice? Happy Birthday to two of the biggest flaming dirtbags I know.

Big Basin

2008-04-27T23:27:00.003-07:00

And...we're back. We had an excellent camping trip in Big Basin and I've discovered a new ability to photograph grotesque insects. I think I might be a banana slug whisperer.

Segways? Really?

2008-04-25T08:55:00.001-07:00

I've been streaming America's Next Top Model off of Sidereel - a show that began with the trashiest intentions but has since been eclipsed by plastic surgery, Paris Hilton and the Playboy mansion. Yesterday I was upset to see the girls travel through Rome via Segway. I'm sure none of these beautiful morons can operate a whopping 200cc Vespa, but if I wanted to see hot people mimic Steve Wozniak I'd hangout at Stanford. Does no one realize that Segways don't really add to the old-world mystique of Italy's (often cobblestone) streets?

I just found this project about some guys traveling through the US via Segway. I can just imagine Nebraska and the football team switching from mailbox baseball to Seqway clothesline.

Oww...Pizza....

2008-04-21T17:48:00.002-07:00

I hurt. This weekend consisted of 3 straight nights of beer and wine tasting. I spent the days recovering and reading Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash. (The inspiration for Second Life) In the beginning of the book, the main character, Hiro Protagonist, delivers pizzas for the mob's Coasta Nostra pizza company. Hiro's life depends on delivering the pizza in under 30 min. This morning I found this real life pizza tracker - a script that tracks your pizza from oven to doorstep. Since I'm a little hungover I can see the importance of delivery food but this is a little neurotic.

ME: For the Win!

2008-04-18T17:51:00.003-07:00

I love Quetzal. I know all the SF hipsters hangout at Revolution Cafe in the Mission, but my cafe has strips of outlets, great lattes and better conversations. So far a group of venture capitalists have laid out their growth strategy, a game developer has whined for his salary and 3 transgendered women have compared hormone injections, psychiatry and astrology. My life is wickedly simplistic + it's Friday! DANA FTW!

Om Nom Nom Nom

2008-04-16T16:07:00.003-07:00

I just wrote an article for my other blog about imeem and took a much needed lunch break at 3pm. I ordered a delicious curry katsu donburi and as soon as I cut the meat with my spoon, the handle broke off and sprayed me head to toe with the delicious sauce. The server ran over with a damp cloth and apologized profusely while I sat there wiping my shirt and secretly just wanting her to leave so I could eat. Now I'm safe and soiled at home eating Japanese snacks and exploring the Om Nom Nom site.

My Post Secret: Sometimes when I know I should be ashamed of myself, I'm really just hungry.

Tax Season

2008-04-15T12:31:00.005-07:00

As a dual citizen I have the pleasure of returning from an amazingly sunny California weekend to the absolutely craptacular task of filing two tax returns. According to Canada Revenue Services I am considered a "factual resident" because I have the residential tie of a bank account. However, that account only exists to pay off student loans because, despite the fact that Canada is heralded as one of the leaders in global telecommunications and online services, the government cannot accept student loan payments from foreign accounts.

This data fragmentation coupled with my own incompetence in translating Canadian tax diction ensures that my true identity and place of residence will never be known by any one government. I AM JASON BOURNE.

Gorgeous Steampunk Laptop

2008-04-10T22:16:00.003-07:00

For some reason I just never got around to blogging about Richard Nagy. It's probably because I figured Cory Doctorow has already said all there is to say about him. But then every time I see Nagy's work I love it. I like my MacBook, but even with stickers it's the same as everyone else's. I know nobody is supposed to like cars anymore, but I am my father's daughter and I'd like a computer that looks like a convertible '67 Corvette Stingray

Flickr Video

2008-04-08T19:34:00.001-07:00

Flickr video just launched and I'm a little disappointed. Maybe my expectations were too high but I just assumed that they'd release it to all users and we'd be allowed to upload more than 90 second clips. I was sort of imagining an artsy/filmmaker community as opposed to YouTube's TV saturated world. Does "unique experience" actually just mean "uniquely limited"? I love Flickr, but I just don't think this is a great way to launch something that we've been anticipating for a year. (That's like 10 years in internet time) Not that I myself could build anything better. You know, I think I might be a player hater.

Competition: Google App Engine

2008-04-07T23:11:00.005-07:00

Google App Engine just launched. Cue the death of romance.

Thanks for Coming Out

2008-04-07T19:25:00.002-07:00

Thanks for helping me celebrate my birthday this past weekend. If you'd like to see how gross you look visit Swerdlow's Picasa page.

And now back to work... I just found a really cute easter egg in the K2 WordPress template that reminded me of Snoopy.

Diarrhea Bear

2008-04-02T15:09:00.004-07:00

I tricked tons of you with my post yesterday. Some of you are so gullible (or Canadian). Hahahahaha!

Anyways in single's news, Reddit's readers seem to be favoring a Singles Map of the US. Apparently "one reason young women in the prime marriage years - the 25-44 age range - flock to big cities is to compete for the most eligible men." Honestly, I just don't believe this. I think they move for better jobs. Why would you move to find a mate when you can just save money and upload a bikini pic to the internet? My friend Liz married a dude she met in the Arctic tundra. (Although men did outnumber women 30 to 16.)

What's wrong with being single?

I saw this really popular ad poster pic from Network Osaka's Flickr account. I'd honestly rather be alone than be waiting for my best friend Diarrhea Bear all the time. Gross. I think he has poop in his fur. You can read the original article on bad English interpretations here.

It's Official...

2008-04-01T17:11:00.003-07:00

I thought it was an April Fool's Day joke but I just found a ring attached to my electric toothbrush. I almost threw it away because I thought it was fake. I'm holding back on posting any pics until our parents get the first look, but rest assured, it is a skating rink. We don't have a date planned or any ideas about how we're going to do it as I am still stunned by the fact that I am wearing some serious bling on my hand. Everybody get ready for Hawaii!! Best birthday ever.

We've started the beginnings of a registry site and will post ring pics and other cheesy slide shows once the fam is on board. You can leave well-wishes here. Lauren and Lisa, mentally prepare yourselves to wear the ugliest bridesmaid dresses in the history of the universe.

Transparency & The Fear of Family

2008-03-31T18:24:00.004-07:00

I wrote a comment on Rebecca's new blog Socialized Geek about how I think transparency and authentic branding are really important. It was smug and mildly libertarian. I returned home to find a birthday present in the mail from my mom with a card telling me how she reads my blog and how she is proud of me. I couldn't tell if it was a letter of concern or encouragement. I guess I'm limiting the self-deprecating posts. Mom, if you're reading this thanks for the present.

The Game

2008-03-25T15:54:00.003-07:00

Neil Strauss, best-selling author of "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists" is in town to discuss his new step-by-step pickup book, " Rules of the Game". I'm not sure whether this event will be sad (as only the host has confirmed) or whether it is appropriate to heckle. Who knows, maybe everyone will be irresistible.

Happy Feaster!

2008-03-24T14:17:00.003-07:00

If you made it over yesterday, thanks for the foods. I've still got about 4 kilos of brisket, 2 kilos of ham and a bunny's butt. Call if you're coming over to make sandwiches.

Happy Easter!

2008-03-23T11:08:00.003-07:00

As displayed by the 2 year reign of the Chicken Noodle Soup dance, making an ass of yourself and Spring go hand-in-hand. Happy Easter/Purim!

Desire Path

2008-03-19T11:58:00.003-07:00

Kottke has a link to a Desire Paths Flickr pool this morning.

According to Wikipedians, the desire path/desire line is:
"A path developed by erosion caused by animal or human footfall. The path usually represents the shortest or most easily navigated route between an origin and destination. The width and amount of erosion of the line represents the amount of demand."

I love this. It makes me happy to think that strangers are forging useful paths together.(I guess that can be said for Wikipedia as well)

Making Arts: CellSpace

2008-03-18T17:51:00.004-07:00

CellSpace, the urban art cooperative that taught me to silk screen is broke. I'm volunteering one day a week and will try to curate a show and get some artists to help fundraise.

CellSpace is awesome. They've got adult art programs, after school programs, a media lab and all sorts of cool events.

It breaks my heart that there are at least 20 dot com companies on the same block and none of them are donating money or volunteering. It's no wonder the old Mission hates the new Mission.

Woodworking: Harder than it Looks

2008-03-13T14:52:00.006-07:00

On Sunday I went to Home Depot to make a simple bench. All I brought were measurements and a couple bucks for the wood. I left with a hotdog and 3 realizations:
1) Home Depot employees don't give woodworking advice;
2) My dad is a wicked good carpenter; and,
3) It's easier to build a website about benches then it is to build a bench.

Since then I've been admiring furniture designs including the walking table and the DB Fletcher capstan schwartz expanding table. I'm considering just changing an Ikea TV cabinet into a bench. Thanks goodness for Ikea Hacker.

Yes We Can Has Cheezburger....

2008-03-11T13:45:00.007-07:00

I'm just as giddy for Obama as the next person, but honestly, the brand is getting a little lame. I liked when the Wachoski's bastardized Descartes and brought the Matrix to the masses. But in this instance the meme is evolving into something with far less kung fu street cred.

Exhibit A: The original "Yes We Can" video features Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas and the smoking hot Scarlett Johansen.

Exhibit B: The a cappella "Yes We Can" features nameless Caucasian high school students in various stages of tragic awkwardness. Good God. I keep thinking the hippie kid on the right is going to bust out into the Napoleon Dynamite dance routine.

Damn. There I go dashing hope again. It's so Canadian of me.